Of Miracles and Everything as Art

Post-exhibition, tides’ 8 senior collaborators share reflections from their experience with Both Sides, Now. The following reflections were edited from group and individual interviews, some of which were translated from Mandarin to English. All final reflections were approved to maintain an in-their-own-words style.

Koh Tong Cheng

Film still of Koh Tong Cheng in Float Free.

First I have to say congratulations! This year was the first year seniors guided tours in the 11 years of Both Sides, Now’s history. My favourite part of the project was tour-guiding; it allowed me to express myself to everyone. I was excited to do the tour with the BSN volunteers and Yishun Health staff, and enjoyed our harmonious collaboration. I loved doing the tours’ end summary; it ties things up beautifully.

tides represents our moods, our lives, and its ups and downs. The cycle of life is represented in this project. Coming to this earth is not easy. We cry upon birth, because there is suffering in life — life is a sea of suffering. We have to find our own happiness. The tour starts with the beginning of life, with Agnes’ sculptures. This is the artwork that touched me the most. Our life is from the umbilical cord; it’s the most primordial connection. Next stop, we see with Magdalene’s artwork that caregiving is hard. When we get to the Wellness Kampung, we get to Devi’s food images; everyone loves food. After eating your fill, you use the rest of your money for adventures, like Shirley. She even goes underwater and sees the world beneath. The story of this exhibition can be told in one sentence; the journey through the artworks is a journey through life. It’s a whole story.

Art is so curious and refreshing. It’s hard to grasp; it’s abstract. Art is in the everyday. Even a meal is art. Even tattoos are art.

Devi Maniam

Devi Maniam with her artwork From Atha To You, flanked by her daughters. Image by Zinkie Aw.

At first, I didn’t want to talk about this subject, because it was so painful. But I told myself to be strong and carry on. Slowly, with the guidance of the artists who cared for us so well, I came around. We came together so many times to talk about living and leaving well. In the end, everyone’s project was touching, because everyone had something to say. Shirley was so enthusiastic about her end-of-life plans. Nobody was as brave as her. Magdalene’s project reminded me that one day it will happen to all of us. I learnt many things. What life is about, what happiness and sadness are, how I feel my life will be in the future. Now I want to tell my children about my end-of-life preparation.

Without this project, my grandchildren wouldn’t have written messages to me. Strangers were very amazed when they saw my artwork. They said, “Wah your grandchildren wrote messages to you.” One of them told me, “I must also write messages to my grandmother,” I was happy to hear that. This is all about remembrance. Many people said I was daring to talk about this subject, especially after seeing me in the papers. My children all appreciated me, my friends all said I did well. I was so happy about the love everyone gave me.

I feel so confident about my artwork. My project came so far; I didn’t dream of this. That I could talk and give tours. I feel so strong and confident, so proud to be part of this. I never thought such a thing would happen in my life. This project is such a miracle for me.

Chia Yim Fong

Chia Yim Fong shares about her film Float Free at tides. Image by Zinkie Aw.

The project was sensitively facilitated to understand our different struggles and concerns. It stimulated me to express myself and opened up spaces for imagination. Learning different perspectives and stories gave me gratitude for my life.

I liked the intergenerational connection; I wasn’t expecting it as I hadn’t been in touch with younger people for a while, and usually find them harder to connect with. Because of this project I had the chance to get to know gracious young people, like the artists, BSN volunteers and exhibition visitors, who were very friendly to me and showed me love, care, and concern. And I felt touched to see so many young people bringing their parents to tides. This project is a conduit for connection.

I invited my old friends to come for the exhibition, some I haven’t seen in many years, some who came after seeing me in the papers. Everyone has been giving me a lot of encouragement. I could not have imagined this. Now I can say my life is complete. The two weeks of the exhibition were one of the happiest for me. I’ve not felt so happy in a long time. I’m so grateful to this platform. It’s a gift for my 70th birthday.

Michelle Sim

Film still of Michelle Sim in Recollection.

It was my first time being exposed to art like that. Actually, I love art — I think it is wondrous and profound. Art brought us to another space, one that is less realist or rigid. Art in my community makes the environment softer, more tender. Because art is something you can’t see; it’s more like a feeling. Art can change things in the community; it is a conduit between people. There was space to discuss, negotiate, and navigate together. It felt warm.

I didn’t know I was so humorous. It comes naturally to me to say things that make people laugh. Usually, I’m not so confident; I have had years of self-esteem issues from societal and environmental oppression. It’s like being buried underground. But this project gave me a chance to be more confident. My connections with the other seniors got closer. This Wellness Kampung emanates love. Our Centre Coordinator Mary is heartfelt and authentic. The way she runs this place is different from other senior centres.

I didn’t realise my film would be filmed so beautifully or that what I made could have such an effect. I didn’t imagine it would make people cry. I feel a little embarrassed; I usually bring joy to others, as that is the essence of volunteerism. People approach the film differently depending on who they are and what pain they carry. It is not one-dimensional, it has different faces. It can activate people. Many people find the part about 60% happiness very interesting and ask me about it. I pondered this; now I’m still striving for the 40% — to better plan my volunteer efforts and contribution to society.

I hope my film can help others. That is the main purpose for me — to give others a sense of positivity. I hope that if we continue Both Sides, Now that I can bring joy to others, with comic relief or jokes. Because life is short, and no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Older people have a lot of knowledge from the journey they’ve walked. Young people have energy and spark. Let’s not keep talking about the past, let’s talk about the future.

Magdalene Yap Choy Kam

Magdalene Yap poses with her artwork Feelings of a Dementia Caregiver. Image by Zinkie Aw.

The greatest meaning I got from this project was being able to share my story as a caregiver. I learnt a lot from the caregiving conversation circles we hosted. In particular, from an old couple who would like their caregiver to be consistent. It made me understand why my mother behaved in particular ways, although it’s very hard on the caregiver. The conversation circles were also very comforting and encouraging. It was amazing to see some of the younger generation know more about caregiving than elders — those who came are in the field, and know how to take care of themselves as caregivers. Through this process, I’ve discovered that I need more time for myself. It was also very surprising to receive so many handwritten messages from the public, which really gives me much needed strength and encouragement to carry on with my caregiving journey moving forward!

Overall, it was so enriching and such an eye-opener. I learnt from the other ladies’ life experiences; it makes me see that life is so colourful. This experience definitely made me closer to the community at 765, making new friends and seeing a new side of those I already knew. I also learnt a lot of things like public speaking, leading tours, and explaining artworks. I had the opportunity to talk to so many people, who shared their thoughts on caregiving and my project. Now, I am interested in how to educate people to take care of their dependents, how to change societal attitudes around the needs of caregivers, and how they can be better supported.

Agnes Tan

Agnes Tan’s conversation circle co-facilitated with Assistant Artist Stacy Huang. Image by Zinkie Aw.

It was very meaningful to play a part in helping to spread awareness around this taboo subject. Instead of trying to talk about it in a traditional way, using art helps. My first time doing paper-mâché sculptures turned out so nice with the help of the artists and the nurses, and it makes me feel very honoured to hang it up on the tree in a prominent area. I saw how people react when they see my artwork and tides. They are surprised that seniors can put up an exhibition about life and death.

My conversation circles were fun and meaningful. I find that youngsters are now more open to talk about this, but they also find it hard to talk to the elderly, or their family. Young people asked me how to start these conversations. For my case, I talk to my children during mealtimes or appropriate opportunities, and bring up one thing at a time. Over time, it becomes accumulated and they understand what I want.

My favourite moment was putting up fabric decoration on the pillars surrounding the Wellness Kampung, with my handicraft teachers and class when they came to help with exhibition installation. I was touched that they came to help us. I didn’t know the decoration could look so nice. It took us a while to figure out, but then we acted quickly and managed to finish. I deepened connections to the people at 765 and the BSN volunteers.

I feel more able to speak up and share my views, even giving tours. At least I can stand up and reply to the public during the Q&A sessions! I think everything can be seen as art. Everything can be called art, even speaking, singing. Even when you talk, it’s art.

Shirley Wong Kwai Cheng

Title of Shirley Wong’s statement in her artwork My Way. Image by Zinkie Aw..

This is once in a lifetime for me. I never dreamt that we would have this opportunity. We learn a lot from each other, from single seniors to caregiving. It’s very enriching. I learnt that we can still learn things in old age, that we can do something beneficial for ourselves everyday, that we can be brave. It made me think, maybe one day I’ll be in their position. It’s so helpful, because you are not alone thinking about it. I used to think people my age would be very passive and just stay at home. This will help me go forward to be more active and share with others.

All along, I wanted to plan my funeral. My project allowed me to work on things like my obituary photo, what songs I want to play, what photos to use for my funeral slideshow, how I want my funeral to be. When people ask questions about my artwork, I feel they accept it and my plan. It makes them think about themselves and their family; they agree it’s good to plan for their end-of-life. I feel very happy that this topic can benefit others, and very touched that the young ones also get an opportunity to learn. Maybe they can share with their grandparents how to prepare early. I enjoyed talking to enthusiastic young people; I think they got the message to just go all out in life, not to hesitate.

Both Sides, Now benefits so many people. I brought a classmate to Magdalene’s artwork and she was a bit teary eyed, very emotional. It’s a good opportunity for others to know they are not alone. It was also a good opportunity for my family to support me in what I do, when they came for the exhibition.

Overall, this experience I gained from end-of-life exploration gave me more confidence and courage to share my thoughts and feelings on sensitive matters. With trusted and non-judgmental people, I can express a side of myself. This project has made me stronger. Let’s prove to ourselves that we can do it.

Lim Soh Joo

Lim Soh Joo engages in one-on-one conversation with a member of the public, inside her installation. Image by Zinkie Aw.